Do you remember ...
....when real men would never use the word Twitter?
....when Interac was something you did with people not machines?
....when "Social Networking" was done in a bar?
....when My Space was something you should get out of…right now?
....when the police were the only people with a Face Book?
....when "text"was a noun and not a verb?
Do you remember a life before…Blackberry?
The last ten years has seen an explosion of technology that has shrunk the world in hope to better “communicate” each other. But we spend more time talking through machines than we do in person. There are great advantages to this, but it also comes with disadvantages.
A common sight in 2009 is a group of people standing around not speaking with each other, but uniformly staring down at their blackberries in silence. They are missing a perfect opportunity to have a face to face conversation.
All they have to do is look up!!
How many times have you been in mid sentence with a person, their blackberry vibrates and you have lost them for the next couple of minutes? We have all been victims and we have all done it to someone else. Michelle Warren, the senior analyst at Info-Tech Research Group, a London, Ontario-based research firm, believes “it is rude to disrupt a face-to-face meeting to check for messages.” “This activity gives the impression that the person in front of you is insignificant, which is not a career-enhancing tactic.”
So how do we conduct business in an A.D.D. world?
They say that 70% of business communication is nonverbal. Hell, a client or customer could be giving you the finger and you wouldn't have a clue because you’re looking down at the Blackberry.
Is the ability to read people becoming a lost art?
Voice mail, email, text, etc is like a technological curtain that separates us from clients, customers and employees and eliminates real time reaction on what is being discussed.
Remember emotion is an internal reaction displayed to the outside world as a mood. Body language is the demonstration of how your words are being received.
This is a great article by Patricia Cisneros, AICI, http://www.corporateicon.com/
Heighten Your Perceptive Powers: A Body Language Dictionary
"What DID you say?"...
The research on these body language variations are based on the culture in North America.
- Head tilt: EMPATHY
- Arms crossed: DEFENSIVE
- Arms behind back: THOUGHTFUL, RELAXED
- Body leaning forward: INTEREST
- One hand clasping the lower arm: INSECURE
- Legs/Ankles wrapped: INSECURE [note: the feet are the most honest part of body]
- Legs crossed, ankle on knee, hands clamped on horizontal leg: STUBBORN, IMMOVABLE
- Hands clasped behind neck: SUPERIORITY
- Rubbing chin: THINKING, UNDECIDED
- Rubbing back of neck: UNSURE, DISBELIEF
- Rubbing cheek: CONFUSED, NOT UNDERSTANDING
- Head scratch: PUZZLED
- One-sided smile: SARCASTIC
- Touching/Rubbing nose: GIVING YOU ONLY PART OF THE STORY, A "WHITE" LIE OR OUT-RIGHT LIE, THINKS YOU'RE LYING, TOUGH TIME TELLING YOU BUT TELLING THE TRUTH.
- Rubbing eye: I DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY
- Unblinking gaze: THREATENING.
- One eyebrow raised: SKEPTICAL
- Eyes closed while talking: VERY SURE, NOT WANTING ANY OBJECTIONS.
- Touching/Covering mouth: SOMETHING TO HIDE.
- Pulling on ear:THEY WOULD LIKE TO RESPOND TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING SOON BUT YOU WON'T LET THEM GET A WORD IN.
- Rubbing ear: OBJECTS TO WHAT THEY ARE HEARING
- One finger ear/neck scratch: UNSURE
- Face leaning on hand: BOREDOM OR TIREDNESS
- Rubbing forehead: HEADACHE, SORELY IMPATIENT
- Lifting chin very high: DOMINANT POSTURING
- Adjusting man's shirt cuff or woman’s purse: NERVOUS ANTICIPATION
- Rubbing hands together: EAGER ANTICIPATION
- Tapping fingers, pen, foot: IMPATIENT
- Seated, hands on knees: IMPATIENT OR READY TO LEAVE
- Slapping side of thigh repeatedly: ANXIOUS TO LEAVE.
Use these body language 'hints' in context along with the tone of their voice... If the words they say are different than their body language, believe the body language and tone of voice first- THEN what they are saying. Don't forget to utilize your body language wisely to project the message you intend.
Your body language would suggest you’re not having the best time on our first date.
Stay in a good mood,
Brad
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